Thursday, July 9, 2009

Making Mistakes

When I last starting dating 5 years ago I was used to someone calling right after they met you. I guess they were interested in me because when that happened all those calls turned into relationships. As I have started dating again this has happened. However, I have made the biggest mistake in dating by being the girl who calls to much. I start to make it less of a challenge for men, which I have been told makes me less appealing. Who knows, but I am really going to try and make myself less available, which goes against who I am. I am going to have to go against every instinct that I have.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Second Date with CF guy

So the next day he called. Good sign, right? He wants to see me again this weekend. We first went out on a Wednesday and he wants to see me again on Saturday. That is great. I am feeling pretty confident. If he was not interested and really interested why wouldn't he call me. I drive to see him because I am on vacation and he is not. I do not think that this is a big deal. I am just being nice. We hang out with his brother and sister - in - law. I am having fun. I am starting to think that this dating thing is not that bad.

What I am doing is ignoring some pretty big warning signs. I always want to give people the benefit of the doubt and I do trust people and what they are saying. Currently, CF guy is living with his ex-fiancee. They broke up, but cannot sell the house. I should walk away, but I like him.

Chinese Food Guy

I survived the first date and it did not go well, but I am not going to give up. I keep telling myself this a process and I am a catch. I have to say this to myself because some days I do not believe it. The next guy I meet suggests we meet for Chinese food. I do not judge and I love chinese food.

We meet and I am pleasantly surprised that he is very attractive. I am instantly attracted to him. Good start and just like me he drinks beer and loves sports (does not dance). All right this is going really well. We end up talking for a few hours and decide to go for more drinks. We have a great time and end up making out. It was a great kiss. I am excited. This is pretty great.

First Date

I survived my first date with a sinus infection. First, the guy was nice, successful and liked to dance. However, I was sick and I hate to dance. The whole time all I wanted to do was blow my nose. I kept thinking that I really should have canceled. The conversation went well and I had a wonderful meal. At the end of the night he walked me to my car and tried to kiss me. It was ackward because I could not breath out of my nose. You really want to kiss me? Seriously? Is that all men think about?

My normal expectation is that he would call the next day. Right? He tried to kiss me. Nope. I get onto eharmony and he "closed" our connection. What is that? You do not even have the courtesy to call. What kind of guy are you? I wanted to right to him and say I did not even like you. I was trying to be nice. I really have to stop being nice and follow my instincts. However, I question my instincts. I just got a divorce from someone I probably should not have married, but I followed my heart. I worry that I will make the same mistake twice.

Online Dating

As I start this process I do decide to try online dating. There are pros and cons to this and I am not sure how I am going to like it. My first site I try is eharmony. It is my belief that since you have to go through a lot of questions you can get away from the married men or even other men who are just looking to hook up. While I want to date I do not want to just hook up. Maybe that will change, but right now I am looking for more then a hook up.

My first week using online dating and I feel as if I have a second job. I am trying not to be superficial. I want to learn more about a person. I do think that you need to be attracted to the person, but to me personality is so much more important. I learned that from dating someone with no personality. It was painful for me and my friends and family.

I have made a date, but I also have a sinus infection. Probably should not go, but I will. What am I getting myself into.

Let the Dating Begin

Never in a million years did I think at the age of 30, I would be divorced and dating again. The reason behind the divorce is another story, but I am dating again. To preface this I have never really dated. I have always gone from one serious relationship to another. Now that I am starting over I really want to date and not get into another serious relationship.

The next question I had for myself was where are you going to meet people. I am in a profession, where there are not many opportunities to meet single men. Should I go online? To me that always seemed artificial, but many people do it. Do I go to a bar? Bars never worked for me in my 20s, why do I think they will work now. Should I harass my friends who are couples and see if they have anyone? Do I trust my friends? Lots of questions, but I decide to do all three. My thought right now is quantity over quality.

Let the journey begin. I am afraid, nervous and very interested in what is going to happen.